smiling often and laughing lots

as of late my life has been on the upswing. more balance, more laughter (less tears) and more smiles. i've made a conscious effort to be this way and have been working on gaining more stability - through life cirbumstances i was forced to, i should say i chose to not be in denial and accept what has come my way, i am not relying purely on one outlet to become more happy and more balanced. i'm even striving for a splash of contentment in there too!
the life choices i've been making are all towards one positive goal - me. i've rediscovered that i'm worth it, i matter and hey you know what, it's just plain old better being happier! i talk to someone once a month, i surround myself in positive influences, i stay put (and quiet), i am speaking my truth more and i am remembering that person that is/was admired by others. i take the daily steps that i feel are 100% necessary for me to remain stable, balanced and calmer. at times i falter and i'm aware of where i fell short or what i can make a better effort on tomorrow. denial is no longer my friend - and neither is ignoring me. choice and free will are a beautiful thing :)
i've had a lot of great mentors in my life and am applying/listening/remembering their lessons. my dad has been w me through this whole lifelong journey of me and continues to be where he always has been, right beside me - he accepts me and loves me like i need to learn to do for myself. my cousin nicole is my kindred spirit and has been such a blessing in my life i don't even know if i could describe what she means to me and my world - especially in this last year. my incredibly AMAZING friends, new and old help get me through. if it's through a text, a visit or just a "hey, what's up?" it has been and continues to be honourable, commendable and incredible. thank you - i am grateful.

speaking of which, here is my list for lately:
~~tofino cherry popping
~~rebecca - thank you allowing me to be around as much as i am
~~my brother Taylor calling to hang out and see me
~~knowing that i bought the book and will read it, apply it and learn from it
~~going for walks on the beach, no matter the weather :)
~~talks w Nath - my new fav person
~~fixing my phone, i've learned how important it is to me. it's a way for me to choose the level of social i have in my daily life
~~water
~~sleeping in my own bed
~~country music - it helps remind me who i am
~~ma familia
~~that beauty of a red car that will soon be mine, thank you dad. i get to drive stick again! phew! even bought some stickers to decorate her w!
~~learning from mistakes. the real mistake in mistakes is not learning from them right pa?
~~cutting out the i don't know's
~~being honest w myself, my new bf and w those in my life
~~sister sending me a postcard from Thailand - so love the adventure she and her bf are on :)
~~girls night, good to check in w lovely ladies once a week!
~~snuggles, kisses and hugs on a regular basis
~~mom continuing to check in, even when i don't call back as often as i should
~~re-booking important appt's
~~making wise life choices
~~finding or getting a journal, getting it outta my head sometimes is best lol
~~having someone in my life who listens and is nice to me - apparently i deserve it
~~bf's bday month (first bday together, woo!)
~~Collins family reunion next labour day weekend, THAT is gonna some serious fun!
~~knowing that every holiday can't be the same as it was growing up - more opportunities for fun!
~~my wifey
~~books, reading
~~my GMA
~~being in Megz's wedding, i get to be a girl for just one day!
~~Nathan

thank you for this life, i sure make it colourful and interesting sometimes but it just wouldn't be the same without that!
big love
J