... can i turn my thoughts off?

i've wondered for years if I could possibly just shush the noise in my head, and I'm sure there's LOTS of ways to help do this....


sleep escapes me, gonna be a nice weekend of sleeping - staying up way late (or trying to) for New Years 2009 with my Jules - sleeping some more - going to visit Grandad and then sleeping a lil bit more.... oh, and at the end of my weekend i get to go to my home! so sleeping in my own bed by thursday baby!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

struggles but capable

had one heck of a day at work, but did it and did it semi-well! or so i think... anywayz, more sleep is needed but with new years tomorrow night don't so much see that happening... BUT it is my friday tomorrow so nap time here i come, weeee!!!

positive-ness for the moment:
~~driving my car again, it had been 5 days!
~~going to work 4 days in a row this week
~~my C-buddy commenting on the J-blog and joining in the positive fun
~~talking to pops for half hour finally, hadn't yet since leaving Mexico!
~~my friend Kim coming to rescue me, on her first day of holidays!!! amazing woman you are my love
~~having a shower when i got home from work and wearing normal clothes, sure scrubs are comfy but do you know how sexy i feel wearing them ALLLLL day everyday hahahahaaaa....
~~little less than a week and my siblings and mama bear will be home, YES!
~~handling situations at work with a responsible attitude, i can do it damn it!
~~my future wife Julie, she rocks my world more than words can explain
~~bringing in the new year for the second year in a row with the love of my life wifey muffin lady JULIE!!!!! 2009 is really going to change our lives missy, don't you ever doubt my love for you k?
~~great compliment at work today - "you'd make a great nurse!" he said with a smile on his face :)
~~making a big huge goal in my life that if all goes according to plan will begin in January 2009 and realllly begin September 2010 - - - see? it's not so scary being an adult! well.... that's debatable

hugs and what have you to all, hope everyone makes it to midnight tomorrow haha... i know i'm gonna struggle!


big love
JL

sooooo tired, but sooo worth it

so apparently holiday time means "no sleep and have too much fun time" for Jaime..... hmmm.... let's re-think that shall we haha. gooood times!

so i have another fan! well, unless she's not ACTUALLY reading it and just looked at the time i blog... not too sure there but who cares?!? hi georgeous!!! love ya cuz :)

positive spin"
~~old friends
~~ice caps at way late at night, tastes better if it's a random trip to town to get tasty treats!
~~drivin in the snow in Bri guy's lil truck lol
~~hearing from my sib's while away on vaca
~~the dark knight on the satelittle, yaya batman!!!
~~my Anderson family, i miss 'em every Christmas time... gee, wonder why? lol
~~waking up on the couch, loving the nap you just had

all in all, good couple of days! thank you Kim for coming to rescue me AND letting me visit with my dad while i'm supposed to watch the hockey :) sorry! abby rocks my world btw!!!!

big Purgavie love to all
JL

the start of a list, i am indeed my father's daughter!

about two years ago i started to do a gratitude thing at the end of some of my days so from now on when i think of some public ones (and when i say from now on i mean about three times then i'll quit) i'll post them on here as a reminder to the world and universe that i'm putting positive vibes out there. please feel free to add your own, or comment... the more positive on this planet the better!

only guideline:
it has to be real, not surface things that are superficial... please. and do as many or as few as you like. now go you, go!

~~talking to my teenaged cousin Georgia, just like old times but both a lil older :)
~~knowing that my friends love me and will come keep me company even on xmas day!
~~Margie and Derek's happy news
~~a warm bed to sleep in, even if i am sharing it with Jamal hahahaha (he's a cat people, gutter minds!)
~~the wag of Hershey girls tail
~~my brother from another mother coming over to shovel and have a visit
~~my brother from the same mother saying "i love you too" and "i miss you too" in the span of 2 days!!
~~talking to James and Sammy around xmas time, too cute!
~~finding treasures for friends and family and on sale too, just cause xmas is over doesn't mean the giving spirit can't live on right?
~~getting in touch with old high school friend's through blogging (you know who you are)
~~my sister Dare Dare and all her wonderfulness
~~Tay Tay joining FB, tee hee!
~~talking to both my aunty and uncle on xmas day, put a smile on my face :)
~~the ability to shovel the snow OFF my car, no matter how unsuccessful the endeavor was i am still capable of going out there to do it and the sweat pouring down my face felt pretty darn good i tell ya!

that's all for now folks, can you tell i just got off the phone with my aunty Mouse and am now chatty?? good luck to me going to sleep! HA!
love and stuff
J

best quote of the season.... "i'm about to have a psychotic episode!!"

so for this very different xmas season i was invited to spend the night with my Rome Home family and was delighted to see that they're all just as much at xmas too!! after deciding with my Tia Cynthia that at an adult xmas you can make new rules, break old ones OR throw rules right out the window we began opening presents at 12:01 December 25. the stocking's were left til morning as some traditions just aren't meant to be broken and crawled into bed around 1am. waking up to the winter wonderland that is our Island some of us felt GLOOOOOOOORIOUS and some of us not so much haha...
as we were opening the remainder of our gifts in the morning (thank you all for spoiling me by the way) Tio Leo opened a book on weather but not just ANY book, a faaaancy pants weather book. he was explaining to Em what all this wonderous book was going to reveal to him when he exclaimed "i'm about to have a psychotic episode!!" from excitement of course!! it was a great time needless to say at my 3rd family's house this christmas. grateful is a word that comes to mind as i stuffed my face with Tia's delicious food, laughed way too hard way too much and looked around at some of the people i love most in this world....


today i went shopping with my manders and spent ALL of my house sitting money, quite excited at some of the treasures i found! first time boxing day shopping on the Island, first time was in Saskatoon with my Garand parents and boy what fun those crowds are!! i hope all enjoyed whatever they did on their boxing day, whether it included boxes or not haha.
big love
JL

if you're reading this Pauper Lauper it means you're on a computer and NOT calling your daughter, bad dog... no biscuits! i found a headset on sale so soon you can skype call me for free you Scotsmen you! MUA!

it’s not looking at what you don’t got but start to be thankful for what you do got

so this Christmas thing always makes me wonder at what the true meaning of it is and where it somehow got lost along the way.... this year is a very different holiday season for me and i've come to realize what it is really important to me in my life. i've really been trying to turn all my negative thoughts around and be more grateful and mindful of what i do have.
my lil bro would be super proud for my next thought.... i was listening to the T.I. song "live your life" and really liked what he says at the beginning of the video. the gist of it was that along this journey of life you might get tripped up and break down but you have to look at the things that get you to where you are... like all the trips and things make you stronger and got you to where you are today. and at the end he says "it’s not looking at what you don’t got but start to be thankful for what you do got" and that really just brings it back around to my reminding myself to be more grateful.
this holidays season the things that have stuck out in my mind so far are:
-my mom making i knew how important it was for her to make me a stocking before she went away and that i was the ONLY person she shopped for, she decided a few years ago to let go of the consumer side of Christmas so i felt important that i as the only one she caved for lol
-my sister saying it wouldn't be the same without me this year
-my stepdad and stepmom including me in their family Christmas and having me over with the kids for our breakfast celebration and also for my fab step mom making sure i had pressies to open and stocking the fridge and freezer for while i house sit
-being invited to various people's family celebrations, being included
-not having to buy anything cause everyone went away, it was WAY less stressful and was kinda nice
-realizing that no matter where i go i'm always able to have a roof over my head, even if none of them are my own. just how many people open their doors to me... i appreciate it more than you know and i don't think i express that enough
-my aunt adopting me into her house for Christmas and having a sleep over there tomorrow!

-life in general, even in the low times it's still a journey


yea.... so just wanted to share that with you all, don't even know if anyone's reading this anymore cause i hardly ever blog lol. oh well!
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and for those who don't celebrate Happy December!!!

big love
J

...sleeping in your own bed

there is something to be said for going away and exploring this planet of ours but there is also nothing like sleeping in our own bed... i usually find this to be the case but somehow not waking up in a VW van in the desert just isn't quite the same!! i'm going to start saving my pennies and return to the south as soon as possible... *sigh*

surprise surprise, it's raining... i can feel my tan fading by the second